Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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