He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize