she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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