Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
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I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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