and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
