sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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