My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
