Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
