Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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