I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Too much gin, very little bucket
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize