I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
