Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize