And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
