I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
