i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
