Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
