i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
