I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
