Taylor Swift is so right about you.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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