you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's get the cat blown out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
