are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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