i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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