Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
