I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
