I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
