Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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