She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
