shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
