my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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