You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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