i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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