Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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