Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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