Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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