I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
