apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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