Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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