the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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