I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
