i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
