please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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