I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
