I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
