You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
