I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
