My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
