He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
