Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
