well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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