I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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