Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize