why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
