just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
