thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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