remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
tequila makes me forget i have legs
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
