some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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