is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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