so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
