It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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