im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
