You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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