you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
