He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
