I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
