Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
