I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
