I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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