We're like a lot better than the average bears
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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