new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
