Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
