I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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