Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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