Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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